April 8, 2001

As I mentioned in yesterday’s journal, I would talk about visions of God. And yes, I do realize that I am baring my soul to everyone on the internet. And yes, it is scary.

I had been raised in the Methodist faith. But through all the years and things that happened, I guess I could be considered an agnostic, having my doubts. My first teacher believed in the Goddess. After following her teachings for some time, I figured that I could believe that, and if there was a Goddess, than it made sense that there could be a God.

When I started learning astral projection (AP), my teacher at the time, had me projecting out to the front of my car, figuring that it was something I was familiar with, and could use as a focal point.

Well, I was working out in the gym at work during my lunch break. I had been working on the stair-stepper for some time, and could go 30 minutes without stopping. This of course, was boring. Having nothing better to do, I decided to try AP. I gathered my energies, and projected out to my car in the parking lot. I was looking at the front of it when all of a sudden, I saw the parking lot moving away. It was like I was being pulled into the sky. I managed to turn around, and saw myself headed to this ball of brilliant white light. It was very interesting, yet I wasn’t afraid at all.

When I entered the ball, I was surrounded by soft, white light. I felt so peaceful. What I felt the most however, was love, warm powerful love. There was so much love that I couldn’t believe it. It was so amazing. I didn’t hear any voices, but I was shown images of people. I figured that they were people I needed to help. I had asked what I can do, and the images started coming.

Back in the physical world, I knew my body was getting tired. I was working it, and sending energy to hold my consciousness, which was at some other place. To help it out, I started bringing in energy from the universe.

Eventually, I found myself leaving the warm, loving ball of light. I saw the building I was in come up as I floated down to it. Next, I was across the room in the gym, looking at myself (my physical body) still working out on the exercise machine. There was this white beam of light coming into the top of my head, and this silver cord coming out of my third eye. (This is the only time I ever remember seeing the silver cord.) I moved over to my body and then moved my consciousness back inside of it. I then brought my energies together and brought them back inside my body. A couple minutes later, the exercise time was up.

Ever since that day, I have had no doubt that there was a God (or God force), and this has defined my image of him. I guess I picture God as a ball of white loving energy. When I remember being taught when I was little that God made us in his image, I can see that now. I always wondered how he could make men and women in his image when they were both different. If you figure the soul that leaves this body we currently inhabit, is energy, then a vision of God as loving energy in the same form is very realistic.

At any rate, that is what I believe. Whatever anyone else believes (even if they believe I’m nuts) is the right belief for them. It is what feels right to them, so it is right for them. That is how things work. Or so I believe.

Love and light to you.