April 25, 2001

One of the first things we learn in Reiki training is to give ourselves a healing. I know, healer, heal thyself. How many of us really do it? I don’t mean to ask how many of us benefit from channeling Reiki, but how many of us really take the time to do healings on ourselves? I don’t see too many hands out there.

I find that Reiki people are very compassionate folk. Most will do whatever they can to help someone else, no matter what the cost. I am no exception. I have many times taken on to healing or doing massage when I wasn’t up to it. I still do. So, what is it about healing myself? That I don’t know.

We teach that one can not heal the world, and yet (especially when we are new to Reiki), we tend to not turn anyone away. In fact, if we see someone hurting, we tend to go offer aid. This is not a bad thing, at least until it hampers the health of the practitioner. Massage therapists (at least ones that go to good schools) are taught that they should get one massage for every ten they give. This usually does not happen which is why so many LMTs burn out rather quickly. They overextend themselves, and give less care to themselves while giving more to their subjects. We should love ourselves first?

I have reached a point that it is sometimes scary. I have back problems as many people do. Yet I also have problems with my knees that have kept me awake far too many nights. The doctors want to help my back by giving me spinal injections on a regular basis it's not a cure, just a way of masking the pain). No thank you. At that point, I take my care back into my own hands. Yet, why can’t I take time to heal myself? I don’t hesitate to help someone else. I will do healing in an instant, or help someone on the web with knowledge from experience. I seem to have time for that.

Until the day that I can do healing full time, I work a regular job that is very stressful. I have the normal duties of taking care of things around the house. I need to do some regular exercise or I start to look like the Goodyear blimp (even if I don’t dress in gray). And I need to eat something occasionally. Among all that, and helping others, I don’t seem to find time for me. I’m willing to bet that many others are the same way.

A dear friend and student has been going through a real problem with her health. It was finally determined that she has hypothyroid problems and fibromyalgia. She reached a point that she totally closed herself off from everyone else, got care from her doctor, and self healed. She is now approaching ‘normality’ and may be able to join the world again soon. Does it always have to be this way? Do we have to wait until we are ready to collapse before we look to our own health? Do we have to lock ourselves away from all other help to be healed? I don’t know the answers to those. One thing I do see in it is that if one does lock themselves away, then when they do emerge healed, they will be a better practitioner.

One of my affirmations says “I can only give what I have”. In other words, if I am bad off, I hinder the help that I offer others. Quite honestly, if the healing weren’t actually being done by God (or whatever deity one follows) than a lot of people I have worked on would have gotten nothing, because I had nothing to give.

So, here I am, a Reiki master (and more according to what others tell me), and I still haven’t learned the basic principle of ‘healer heal thyself’? Well, I am still growing, and hope to continue to do so. Yet, I guess it is time to learn this. The question that remains is how does one make the time. I guess they answer is that one has to want it bad enough to do so.

For those of you that read these postings, please know that I am starting my healing voyage. I need to. However, I am not cutting myself off from others. I will still be here to help, and to heal. I can not turn my back on those in need. But I am going to pace myself better. I will continue teaching (as it is something I truly enjoy), and continue healing.

I guess we look at those we call masters, and expect them to be perfect. The truth is that we are only human. We make mistakes, and we learn. Yes, as with all people, I am still learning. This is a journey that will last a long time, as I hope it does with you.

To those of you out there, may love and light wrap themselves around you, so that you realize that you are never truly alone. Take care.