Ego. It's our dreaded enemy. But, is it really?
As healers, ego is something we try to shun, to move away from. Most people dislike those that have large egos. We always hear comments like "that egotistical jerk." Why is it that some people have to push themselves so that they make sure everyone knows that they are better. I can see pushing yourself to be better than others to make yourself the best at what you do. But not to do it so you can rub others faces in it.
I was once in a club many years ago. It was real interesting watching the egos of all the people. What bothered me the most was that these people weren't satisfied with proving themselves better than someone else, they had to prove that this person was worthless. They weren't just saying "hey, I'm good." They were saying "hey, he's bad." This is when things go too far.
But, what is ego? Is it the driving force to make us want to be better than we are? Or is it the force that wants to say "look at me. I'm good."?
In an old Star Trek episode, Captain Kirk got divided into two of himself by a transporter malfunction. One Kirk is meek, mild, kind. The other is animalistic, controlled by his base desires, egotistical. What we saw was that the meek Kirk couldn't command. He didn't have the backbone to make the hard decision. The animalistic Kirk couldn't command because he didn't have the compassion needed. Now, this was simply a piece of science fiction, but what the writer was saying was that we need both pieces, ego and compassion. But we need them in balance.
As healers, ego is always something we may have problems with. Trying to prove we're the best, or admit that we can do something to others. We spend our lives fighting that dreaded enemy, the ego. At the same time, we can't survive with no ego. If we go up to someone and offer to help, that is our ego giving us the strength to do so. Without it, we would sit back and watch things go by. We'd be too compassionate to make a decision.
We need our egos. The trick is to channel them properly. We have to use them to give us the boost we need to offer to help people, or to believe that we can help someone, or to get up in front of people and teach a class. Now those may not seem like the types of things we do when we think of our egos, but they are as much a part of ego as anything.
When I write this journal, I try to remove every bit of ego that I can. After all, it is not about me. It is not about saying that I am good at something. It is about sharing, and teaching, and learning. At the same time, compassion makes me want to write these entries, but it is the ego that makes me get up off my backside and actually do it.
We need our egos to give us the confidence to do the things that we do. To keep it from getting out of hand, we temper it with love and compassion. That is the same love and compassion that we use when we heal others. Funny how that works.
Each person is a unique balance of emotion and ego. The key, is keeping that balance.