Rollercoasters. Do you like rollercoasters? I like rollercoasters. They start at a mid point, and then they climb up. Then suddenly, they go down, and the up, and then down again. I like to watch them. I don’t like to ride them. So, why do I?
Now, there are places about two and a half hours from me that have lots of roller coasters. I don’t go on them. But I do ride a rollercoaster, in fact, I ride one almost daily. (Hmmm, now they’re starting to see where I’m going.) The rollercoaster I ride is the emotional one. I’m willing to bet that I’m not the only one that does (as all the seats seem filled).
I remember not too, too long ago where I was having my ups and downs. At that time, I was working my day job and ended up going on medications to control my mood. I stopped taking them the day I left my day job as I wanted to feel real life, and felt I wouldn’t be as depressed again.
When I do healing work (and we’re talking massage or energy work), I am on a huge high. I get to help people. I get to help them feel good. When I’m not doing that, and business is slow, I’m at the opposite end of the scale. Unfortunately, this makes perfect sense. It’s like the let down of coming home from a spectacular vacation and having to face the ‘job in hell’ the next day.
Now, it may seem selfish of me to be putting things like this out here, but I can’t be the only one that’s like this. So, if someone else sees this, maybe they might feel a little better. And better yet, if I can come up with some suggestions to help, well then it’s all been worth it. Hmm, suggestions... Uhhh...)
Ok, we know the key is balance. The prescription drug Zoloft claims that it chemically makes changes to even out one’s mood. I’m sure there are others out there that do the same thing. The key is to do this without chemicals. One of the first things is to recognize where the limits are that you need to set. What is the jumping off point before anger takes over and you start to lose control? We know the point where anger takes complete control, but we need to stop before we get there. That’s where we become pure anger and just start doing things without thinking. At the opposite end of the scale, we need to look at joy, and at what point to we start to lose control to it? At what point do we totally lose control. It’s very interesting that when we are so overcome by joy that we start doing things without thinking, and some of them could turn out bad. You want an example, well of course you do.
Look at a group of children playing around and in a pool. They start pushing and shoving each other into the water. Suddenly one child, wrapped up in the happiness of the moment, pushes another in and doesn’t notice that they go in the water underneath someone coming off the diving board. The one child diving lands on the other and there are serious injuries. Now, was the intent to hurt either of the children? Of course not. But through the excitement, thinking went out the window, the same as it does when one gets truly angry. This is why children get told to think about what they’re doing. Maybe we need to learn the same lesson.
So, you locate the two points where you’re on that rollercoaster, and it starts to turn down the big nasty slope. You then mentally put a flag there. This is best done in meditation, but can be done just by thinking about doing it, and convincing yourself that you are doing it.
The next thing you need to keep telling yourself is that when you see the flag, take a breath, and let conscious thought back in to be a part of what happens next. Do this enough, and you will be able to take control in all types of situations. Pause, focus, and then move ahead. It’s like doing affirmations, repeating them to yourself daily until you truly believe them. Then when situations occur, you will recognize them and add control back into what you’re doing. (Yes, it is like self hypnosis. But it is you working on you to make you better.)
You’re being able to make yourself focus on something, thinking, and not losing control. We’ve been talking about losing control to anger or joy, but the same could be said for fear. There’s something more to think about. The key is keeping, or getting back the focus. Many years ago, on the first episode of Magnum P.I. the title character was trying to pick the lock of an expensive sports car while two very nasty dogs were closing in on him. He kept telling himself “Work the lock. Don’t look at the dogs.” This kept focus so he didn’t give in to fear. Of course the character did look at the dogs, but that moment where he would have gone over the edge happened, he recognized his flag and kept conscious thought. (Well at least that’s what I believe he did. Being fiction, it’s hard to get into the writer’s head.) The point is that this does happen in real life, and you can do it, and so can I. It just takes learning, feeling, and then doing.
Please realize that I’m not talking about keeping yourself from feeling joy and anger (yes, we even need anger occasionally, part of balance, you know). What I’m saying is to know where the danger point is. Another way of saying it is stick to the merry-go-round and stay off the rollercoaster.