Well, I’m really tired today. It probably has something to do with being online and on the phone until 2am this morning. I have a friend that needed someone to talk to, and I was it.
My friend has been having problems of late. She is suffering from a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from (I want to say an incident, but that is way too mild) an assault that happened almost a decade ago. She has been suffering flashbacks, and has been having physical problems from it. Now, one of the things that is interesting is that she recently received Reiki, and took Reiki classes.
As I have said before, Reiki works on the physical, emotional (or mental), and spiritual levels, and that it goes where it needs to go. A long time ago, or it sure seems like it, I answered a question on ReikiAloha that dealt with nightmares that occurred after a Reiki healing. Now first, Reiki does not cause nightmares. When all the information had been brought forward, I found that this person had been sexually abused by her father from the age of four to the age of 20. Now 42 years of age, she had walled that off and buried it.
The Reiki energy was put in to help her sore back. Instead, it saw something else that needed healing more. It started working on the walled off problem, which did pull down some walls. With the walls down, she had nightmares and flashbacks.
Now my friend whom I talked (typed, actually) with last night has been having panic attacks now and then, but lately it has gotten much worse. She has never been able to talk about what happened, and only a few know that something happened at all. In talking with her over the last couple of weeks, I told her that she needs to talk with someone about it, most likely her counselor whom she sees weekly. Being a psychology student, she knows that it will never go away until she faces it, and being able to talk about it is the first step. But she just couldn’t bring herself to talk to anyone.
We were talking online last night, and got onto the subject. At this point in time, she had told her counselor that something had happened, but she couldn’t talk about it. I suggested that she write it out, as if she were writing to no one. I told her that I would listen if she wanted to talk. She seemed inclined, and I told her that I could simply ask her questions if that would help. I said that since we were typing with no real voice communication, it was relatively safe. She told me to start asking.
Over the next couple of hours, she told me the details that she had never told anyone else. I was shocked and horrified, yet I kept my composure, and kept asking questions to get her to talk about all of the details. This was something she needed to do to get her started toward recovery. The horrible thing was that I knew the answers to my questions as soon as I typed them. But, she had to tell me, as the important thing was not my knowing, but her telling.
Finally, she had come to the end. We typed back and forth a little, then I decided to see what state of mind she was in. I figured she was agitated, but I had no idea how much. I opened myself up and connected to her, and felt her emotions. Suddenly, I was having trouble breathing. I was on the verge of tears, but couldn’t let go to cry. I released the connection and went back to typing.
I told her that I was going to call her on the phone, and that I wanted her to answer. I said that she did not have to talk, only listen. I dialed, and she answered. I could hear her breathing. It was as ragged as I felt it had been. I started talking. I was talking about calming. As I talked, I sent calming energy and love. I had her do breathing exercises as much as she could. I kept talking in a calming tone, and walked her through the ‘going deep’ part of a meditation. I continued on like this for almost 45 minutes. At that time, I felt she was calm enough to let go.
The story of what happened (I wanted to say incident again) truly shocked me. I was shocked to know that people can be that cruel, and care so little about others. Although I see bad stuff happen on TV, or in the news, I have never known anyone that had gone through anything like this. As a friend, it hurts. It hurts to know someone has had to deal with such a thing.
One thing I do know... I know that my friend is a very strong and special person. She has survived this, and has had the strength to carry on. And to have gone through this, and still be the kind lovable person that she is today just says more about how truly strong and how good she is. I know her strength will get her past this, and enable her to move ahead with her life. I know her counselor will get her through it.
Me? I’m just glad to have been able to help. I’m glad that she trusted me enough to open up. As I understand it, I am the only one that knows. I’m glad she felt safe enough to tell.
As far as inconvenience goes, I lost a little sleep. No big deal. I was just glad to be of some help, and I hope I can do more.
To all of you, much love and light.