This is the last one. I promise (well at least for a while.) It's a great satisfaction knowing that for a brief point in time you made a difference.
Every year about this time, I start looking back at what I have done with my life and wondering if I have value, if I’m a success. (And yes, I know I’ve been here before in this journal.)
The question is how you measure success, and what you give value to. Well, first off, I’m not rich and I’m not famous, not that I’ve ever give a lot of credence to either of those things (although not having to worry about an income would certainly be nice). So, am I a success? I don’t think I’m still sure about this one. I get by. I’m not out there changing the world, or if I am, I’m doing it in real small increments (as in one body at a time).
So the next questions is... do I have value? Sometimes it sure seems like I don’t. I am earning no income. In fact, I am a drain on the family income which is being earned solely by my wife. Eventually, I expect my practice will pick up to the point that I actually start bringing home money instead of siphoning it from the home to the company. Up until a few years ago, when my wife changed jobs, I had the bigger income. It is very daunting to go from having a good income, and being able to take some of the pressure off my wife to not being able to be any support whatsoever. This is what really haunts me on the days when I sit at the shop and do nothing because there is no business.
Other than income, do I have value? I think I do. I’m supportive to family and friends, at least most of the time. I am a sounding block, a booster, a teacher.
The final question is... do I make a difference? This I believe I do, either in the people I have helped in the past, or the ones that come to me now. I used to be able to say that I could count at least six people that I have helped over various hurdles in their lives. My being there, having the right things to say, or the right gifts to use, made a big difference. A lot of what I do now is to help people, and for them I do make a difference.
So yes, I guess I am a success because I have value, and I make a difference, even though it may be a small one. And yes, that does bring satisfaction. To know that no matter how small, or for what period of time, I do make a difference, that is a good feeling.
How do you rate your life?