We are a touch starved society. Somewhere along the line, society became afraid to touch. Yes, it’s rant time again.
Ages ago, it was alright (and acceptable) to touch, to hug family, pat someone on the back, just give someone a friendly, caring touch. Somehow society has shied away from that, and shied so far away that people are afraid to touch someone because it will be interpreted wrong.
It is inappropriate to touch someone else whether that be a friend, coworker, child. And I’m not talking about touching someone’s backside or groin or breasts. I’m talking a simple pat on the back, a caring squeeze of the shoulder that tells them that they have done good, or that they are stronger then they think.
What has caused this? Fear. That’s right. Fear. People are afraid of underlying things that could come from touch. Most of that is fear of sexual predators. At the same time, this fear is drilled into people at a young age.
It is true that we need to make children aware that there are people out there that mean to hurt them. In my day I was always told “Don’t talk to strangers.” or “Never take candy from strangers.” Today children are taught about inappropriate touch in school. The problem is that they drill it into them so deeply that they have the child thinking every touch is wrong. It has been to the point that a parent can’t hug their child without the child questioning it, or spank a child without them going to the school and complaining about abuse. And society had made it worse by overreacting in too many cases.
There have been many news stories over the past decade where schools have reacted poorly in cases of one student touching another. In one case, a six-year-old was expelled for kissing a girl in his class. Now, he should be taught that this was wrong. But I think it is the overreaction of the school officials who not only expelled him, but had his permanent record reflect that he is a sexual deviant that make this so ridiculous. Yes, that is what they did. They marked that on his permanent record, something that will follow him throughout his school life. (A permanent record can be a daunting and cruel thing to a child in school. I used to wonder what was in mine as it seemed I got treated the same by every teacher in grade school. My desk was up pushed up to the front wall where I couldn’t see the board, and I was treated as an outcast by most of my classmates.) So going back to the case at hand, what does expulsion teach a child? If you kiss someone in your class, you will be sent to another school? Has this child really done so wrong?
There was a recent case here in Jacksonville where a grade school child (and I’m talking about someone less than 11 years old) touched another student on the shoulder. He was expelled. I think the mother is suing, but I know how education boards do whatever they please for whatever reason.
In a similar case about five years ago in a Baltimore area school, there was a girl who was having an asthma attack. Unfortunately, her inhaler was in her locker. Another girl in her class, who was also an asthmatic, and had her inhaler with her, gave it to the girl having the attack. The girl who did the good deed (and probably saved a life) was taken to the office where her permanent record was marked to reflect that she was passing drugs in class.
Excuse me! This truly does show that no good deed goes unpunished. I thought school was a place to teach people to think. Why is it that the people who work in them can’t? I guess that it is true… Those that can’t do teach, and those that can’t teach administrate. I guess those that can’t administrate, just continue doing so badly.
Another thing is with doctors. Today, doctors don’t want to touch a patient, or see them naked. Now, I understand that some of us are real scary when naked, but there is so much a doctor can find out by looking at us. They can see if the spine is straight, if there are any rashes anywhere that we can’t see, if there are any alignment issues or issues with varicose veins. (These things are actually being left for massage therapists to find, which must be why we have to take so much medical training.) Doctors also don’t want to touch. Now, just as we find a lot out about someone from their touch, doctors can find a lot out about their patients from touching them. Even there energies move back and forth carrying information.
Many years ago, I worked for a small company that occasionally hired nighttime data entry people. It was up to me to hire and test them as well as manage them. Before taking the test, if they were nervous, I would put my hands on their shoulders as a calming reassurance. As time went on, and society changed, and sexual innuendo hit an all time high, I stopped touching people. It became inappropriate, no matter what my intent was. (I have learned a lot about conveying what I mean with words and expression, but it still does not have the power of touch.)
When I went to massage school I was told that a lot of people get massages simply because it is the only time they can get a kind loving touch. Now, that is scary.
Come on people! Let’s start educating our children, not frightening them. Let’s stop living in fear. Because I’ll tell you this… we bring on what we fear. If we are afraid of something to the point where we think about it in certain situations, we will manifest that problem.
But that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.