Making my travel to Las Vegas was an experience. A good experience surprisingly.
Ever since that dream last week, and the realization of the date that it occurred, I have been a little on the uneasy side about getting on an airplane and going anywhere. Most of the programming on TV since the anniversary of 9/11 has dealt with things that happened that day, many of them with United flight 93 which crashed in Pennsylvania.
Strangely enough, it hasn’t been this buried fear taking control of me, but a strange surreal calmness. Usually I have a fair grasp of being around at a future time a few days ahead. When I went to Plantation, I could see myself in the classes I was going to take. The problem was that I could not see myself in Las Vegas or the MFR classes that I had signed up to take. This is where the buried fear takes over and makes me think that I may not be around too much longer. And this is even when I feel there is much more for me to do before moving on.
For several days I have been in a very strange mindset. I’ve been looking at things as if I may never see them again. Admittedly, I never really liked flying. It is that thing about giving up control and depending on someone else to know what they are doing. It’s like getting on a bus and hoping the driver is really good at what he does. Planes are like buses that can fall out of the sky. I used to say that I’m not afraid of heights, just falling from them.
At any rate, my friend pulled out a deck of Tarot cards and read them for me. She saw nothing wrong with the trip other than some delay that would actually work out for the better. After that I felt better.
But even with that, I knew the key was to stay calm and not allow fear to get a handle on me. Years ago, Kay took us through a meditation that helped us set up keywords to do various functions. (A keyword is like a hypnotic trigger that you program yourself with. Only you can use it.) I created a keyword to calm myself when I needed to. This word is ‘Serenity’.
So during the very long trip to Houston, then Phoenix, then Las Vegas, I would say this word to myself a lot. It helped me keep calm which also kept restless leg syndrome under control.
One thing I did was give myself a big reminder. I have a t-shirt that has the name and picture of a science fiction movie on it. The movie: Serenity. Sometimes little things just help one along.
Oh, and the delay… Our flight out of Phoenix was delayed an hour. When I got to the rental car shop, they were short on cars, so they offered a free upgrade to a minivan. This worked out well as I got the same type of vehicle I own. It’s hard navigating a strange town, but when you’re in an unfamiliar vehicle, it’s worse. This made it better as I knew where everything on it was. So, the card reading was very right.