Did you ever feel like things just suddenly took a sharp left? Life was going great and then the bottom fell out? Well, that’s how I feel now.
A few years ago, I felt that I was on a specific path to some specific goal, although I was not sure what that was. I saw where I was continually growing, learning new things, evolving. I saw where I was branching out, gathering a group of people to work together in the future. I had people telling me that they saw me addressing huge crowds of people and writing a book.
Somehow I feel that things took a sharp left. I know that the idea of addressing large groups is scary, and maybe my fear pushed this away. My contacts are small and shrinking all the time. And although there is this thing out there that wants to form into words from time to time, it is never there when I think I should be looking at a book.
I am learning new things like mediumship, yet I seem to be clinging to old things just as hard. The negativity around me is terribly strong, and I have trouble moving through it. While my wife has been out of work for almost nine months now, we are surviving. I am putting in 12-hour days between my shop and teaching at night. But it is not enough to pay the bills. So, yes there are major concerns that are weighing us down. I’m hoping for some lessening of them so I can get back on whatever track I am supposed to be on.
Right now, I just feel like I’m getting blown by whatever winds happen to blow in my direction. I think I need to start looking into a sail and a rudder.