As Halloween is approaching, we look forward to dressing up in the spirit of the holiday. But, why are you wearing your mask now?
Years ago, when we would change what we were doing, we used to refer to it as changing hats… “Let me put my administrator hat on now.” But there is more to it than just changing jobs. In some cases, it is almost changing personas, but not quite. But it is changing attitude, responses, and what you allow other people to see.
I would like to think that I am me no matter what I do. I know that no matter what is going on in my life, I can rise above it once someone comes in with a problem. I immediately go into ‘healer mode’. But is that mode a mask. Do I just change focus, or do I cover up things that are not for others to see? I think we all do.
Now, I know people that used to change personas based on where they were and who they were with. This to me is just being fake. But in who we are and what we do, we do change based on what we are doing and who we are around.
When you think about it, how many people know the entire you? How many know everything about you? My guess is not too many. We cover our inner selves with a layer of protection. There might be a special person or few people that you have allowed to see the full, inner you. But even those close may see most of you, but not all of you. We cover ourselves with layers of masks based on how we feel about the people we are with.
Many people keep their personal lives very much to themselves. Others tend to let anyone that will listen hear about every intimate detail of their lives. Most of us tend to be a little in between.
I tend to be a more open and honest person than a lot of people (and I’m not saying that a lot of people aren’t honest). I will talk about myself some with clients to let them know that I have some insight into what they are going through. Someone might say that they have major back issues, and I might tell them that I understand what they are going through. I find that instead of throwing out the pompous “I know how you feel”, I might relay a short piece of information that shows the client that I do speak from experience, not sympathy. But there is still a mask in place to keep everything about me covered. It is not deception, more like protection.
The question comes down to how many masks we truly have. And I think the key is to limit the number to a minimum. To be the real you all of the time, with your inner core protected is the goal. Of course, some of us don’t cover that core enough. I used to be told that I carry my heart on my sleeve. To me, this means that I put 100% of myself into everything I do, and yes, when someone doesn’t like what that is, it hurts all the way to the core. But I don’t know how to be any other way. People get what I am, not just what I want them to see. I find it easier that way.
So, how much of you do people see, and how much is covered by masks? And will you change to a scary one for Halloween? Or are some of the masks you use scary enough? Food for thought? I hope so. Just don’t get a sugar high.