Heart and mind. Heart and mind. What are they? What is the connection? Which one should rule?
I know I wrote some things on this the other day, but it seems to keep coming up with some of my clients. Yesterday, I got into a session of Life Coaching (which I referred to as massage table psychology). Keep in mind that this did not start out as a life coaching session, but ended up being one, at least for part of it. And the beauty of it is that I don’t remember what I told her. This means that it came from spirit, and wasn’t for me. But she got it.
But back to what this brought up...
Do we lead with out heart, or with our mind? Do we have one closed off and are just working with one? I think the best place to start is to look at what each one does and what effect they have.
Let’s start with the heart. This is our inner feelings. Our hopes. Our desires. The deepest core of our being resides here. Although this is not our center, it is our core. When the heart is open to its fullest, we follow it to wherever it will lead. We put all of ourselves into everything we do.
We’ve heard the expression ‘wearing your heart on your sleeve’. This is immersing yourself into everything you do to the fullest. It is putting every ounce of your being into everything. Unfortunately, the second part of wearing your heart on your sleeve goes ‘where it can be bashed about by everyone’. Leading with our heart, leading with our whole being leaves us vulnerable to rejection. It makes it an all or nothing proposal. And all too many times we come away with nothing. There is no fall back position. We become super sensitive to criticism. We find it hard to make change. We steer our course based on feeling.
The heart chakra is ‘balance’. But we are out of balance. And when we turn off the connection to the mind, we lose that chakra… intuition. Without intuition, we just blindly follow our desires. The problem is that this does not work in the real world, which is where we currently are.
But the other end of that is to close of your heart and be thinking on everything. Using just the mind closes off wants and desires. It makes everything you do become one of a well thought out process, one of logic. This is great for computer programmers who work with machines that have no emotions. Everything is a planned process with a thousand fall back positions when what is desired is not met, and each of those things that can go against the desired result is thought of and planned for. This works fine when dealing with machines, but not people. People have feelings and wants and desires that steer them differently depending on the balance of each. This makes the responses to our plans unpredictable.
Leading with the mind takes us on a path that is planned out. We think for hours on everything. We agonize over the right thing to do. Hmm. Chocolate or vanilla? Lots of thought required there, and you will spend that time doing it, debating over the right choice. The problem here is that we end up with what is most logical or most logically beneficial. But is it what you want? Does it feel right for you? Or is it just the path you think should be taken? Should we be with this person because it makes sense? Or should we be with this person because it feels right.
When communication between the heart and mind are open, you have your wants and desires, but you temper them with logic and thought. You keep from running off and following every desire because you weigh the possibilities. You allow criticism, and you think about if it might make what you are doing better? The key to the heart and the mind is balance. (Of course, this is a key to everything.)
When the heart and mind are in balance, the heart is open to intuition which leads it to be open to something feeling right. (I can’t tell you how many students have come to me because it ‘feels right’.) When the heart and mind are in balance, our desires are put out there, but modified and adjusted based on thought. I might have a desire to go skydiving. But the mind realizes that I am afraid of heights and falling from them.
The mind balances the heart. Together we can fit into any situation in this ‘real’ world. Balance rules out.