I happened to run into a posting online that gave the “Empath’s Commandments”. I found many of them to be too true, and many of them to be things I ignore too often.
Ok, back to basics for a moment. And empath in this reality is a person that feels the emotions of others. Think Deana Troi on Star Trek: The Next Generation... “Captain, I feel fear. I feel anger. I feel... bad script writing.”
Now, while feeling other’s emotions is something we do, it is not at that level. Many times we get swayed by other’s emotions, becoming happy in a group of happy people, or becoming angry around people that are upset. A friend taught me years ago to lower my shields (and it does take a lot to do that as they are there for my protection) and listen to what is around me. I could identify the sex of any person in any direction. I could tell if they were awake or sleeping, and what they were feeling.
The problem with being an empath is that we want to help. We want to try to make things better, which is why many of us become healers in some form or another. But there are always problems, like trying to identify if the emotion you are feeling is yours or someone else’s.
So, here is the list that someone had come up with and the comments of the person that posted it...
I found this awhile ago and it helped to clear things up for me when I was struggling with all this empathic stuff. I hope someone else finds it useful. I think the most important thing I came away with was learning that being an empath was a gift for me. It is a finely tuned tool to guide ME through this experience we call the human condition. Once I accepted responsibility for it and stopped running away from myself by pretending to use it to help others I began to see that it is meant to help me first and foremost.
An Empath's Commandments
1) People are NOT your pet projects for you to fix.
2) You are NOT an 'emotional mechanic'.
3) Just because you're emotionally fine-tuned (as most empaths are) does not automatically obligate you to intervene.
4) How others choose to live their life is not your call.
5) Everybody handles trauma / distress in their own fashion.
6) People CAN change, but ONLY if they have the desire to.
7) Interference is not a promise of good results.
8) There is nothing glamorous or cavalier about self-sacrifice.
9) Forcing change never works on anybody.
10) Accept that you can't change everyone's situation. That struggle is their personal journey, so give them the room they need to find their own brand of enlightenment down the road.
11) Offer your unconditional love and unbiased understanding. This is the most you can do for an ailing heart.
12) A listening ear is extremely helpful and has a bigger impact than you think.
13) All your actions resonate for many years. You just may not be present to see the results.
14) Your gut instinct. The alarm in your head. The nagging voice in the back of your mind. That bad feeling that warns you. LISTEN TO IT.
15) Whatever you put out in this world comes right back to you. So tried and true. A real lesson in karma.
16) Saying curse words, putting a curse on someone, or just the general desire to wish harm upon someone tends to have the negative effect of corrosion on your soul. You will feel it.
17) Meditation does work; helps calm you the heck down! Find any Youtube video on meditation and follow it to clear your brain cobwebs.
18) Walk out of the room if encountering a heated battle, before your "fight or flight response" kicks in. Petty squabbles are never worth the emotional damage it causes to your armor.
19) Arguments are pointless, incendiary and help no one. Unless you're a lawyer.
20) Some people involuntarily extinguish your light. They may not be aware of how toxic they are, but you do. Fixing them is futile and not your responsibility. Get far away from these people as you can.
21) Be the bigger person. If someone says something nasty to you, you say "Thank you for your kind words." and walk away. Be classy. They may scoff, they may retort, but after some time passes one thing is always guaranteed. And that nagging feeling at the back of their mind, it's called shame.
22) You pick up bad emotions, not only good ones. It's important to pinpoint where they come from.
23) If you feel overwhelmed and nothing stressful is occurring in your life, you're accidentally picking up nasty vibes from someone nearby or some local event. Time to get away for a bit.
24) It's narcissistic to believe it's your duty to 'fix' people. Wanting to help and believing you have to are two very different things.