We’ve heard many times that we are a product of our environment, and that is true. We are a culmination of everything that has happened in our lives, every experience, every pain, every heartache, every joy, every wonder. Everything that has happened has been to mold us and shape us into the being that we are today. That girl that turned you down for the big dance. That kid in the back in third grade that kept shooting spitballs at you. That first kiss. That new car. That pretty sunset sending colors all through the sky. Everything has helped form who we truly are. But why do we carry it all around with us?
It is good to know what happened in our lives, and have memories, but we tend to carry these with us as we go. And the load gets heavier the further we go along our various paths. This has been termed unwanted baggage, and leaving it behind is a difficult thing to do.
It is all right to remember things that happened, they bring us joy, or reminders to be careful. But to still be attached to the point that we are still angry or sad, well, that pulls us back into the past and does not let us move into our future. This baggage we carry bogs us down and makes us not able to step forward. As it has been said that we need to leave the past behind us so we can move forward. We need to not carry our baggage from the past into the future. But it is not as easy as it sounds. (Is anything really as easy as it sounds?)
Part of the trouble releasing the past is that we identify with it too much. We take it in and define ourselves by it. Let’s take an example… John is a person that suffers from epilepsy. When John introduces himself, does he say, “Hi. I’m John. I have epilepsy."? Probably not. More likely he will say, “Hi. I’m John. I’m an epileptic.” Do you see the difference? In the first one, John says that he is a person and that he has an illness. In the second, he includes that illness as part of himself. He defines himself by his illness.
When we define ourselves by the problems we have, it makes harder to release these problems. To someone that is angry a lot, they tend to define themselves with that anger. When they go to release that anger, they feel like they are letting go of a part of themselves. That makes them panic, which makes them bring that part back to them to hold onto. The same thing has been said of people with unwanted spirits in their house. They get someone in to convince the spirit to move on. Then when the spirit is gone, the people will miss all the goings-on no matter how annoying they were, and bring the spirit back in.
By releasing our anger, fear, or pain, or whatever we have, we actually miss that because we used it to define ourselves. We let go part of ourselves which in turn redefines us, and what we truly are. We miss that piece. And it is frightening feeling like we are missing an important piece of ourselves. And the bigger that piece is, the more we used it to define who we are, the harder this transition is. But this is the type of thing we need to do to move on, to release the past and move into the future.
Now, how do we release this baggage? There are many good ways. Meditation is one. You go into your meditative state and look at experiences in your life one at a time. You can let them come up randomly, or ask that the ones having the most hold on you come first (and these can be painful experiences, or happy ones). With each experience you view, strip away the emotion. Without the emotion, it is just fact, something that happened. Without the emotions tied to them, there is nothing to grab you and pull you back into the past.
Hypnosis is another method. In this case, someone would lead you through something similar to what is done in the meditation.
There are also tools that health counselors use that have the same effect. They let you release the stuff you don’t need so you can move forward with the stuff you do.
Or you could simply pay attention to yourself. How am I reacting to this situation? Why am I reacting the way I am? You just might remember something similar that happened that is still pulling on you. Once you have this, just say, “I release you. You have no pull on me anymore.” Yes, it can be that simple as long as you mean it. And you have to mean it with all your being.
So, find the tools that work best for you. Leave the past behind you, and step into your bold new future.