As I sit here typing this, it still has not dawned on me the full impact of what is happening. The enormity of the things I have to do is staggering. Changes have to be made to business cards, flyers, the website. Last week, I left what I could have considered the safety and security of a familiar location with a known number of clients. But that place had its problems. Aside from the noises and equipment malfunctions, it was small, too small to hold decent sized classes. But it was comfy.
In January 2004, I paid my first month's rent on that location. At the time, I had a lobby and a treatment room. The front room (which at that point was one big room) was my sister-in-law's art studio. My computer was behind a screen in the treatment room and got turned on at the end of each session before I walked out of the room. That first year, I had to pay the rent out of my pocket four times. (With the exception of one month four years ago, that was the only time the company did not earn its rent.)
As time progressed, I expanded into part of the front room so I could have a separate office. Not long after that, I took over the entire office (and the entire rent). My landlord had one wall moved into her office four feet, while I had another constructed creating a second treatment room.
There was a time that I had someone working for me until she had to move to Georgia. I tried that again, but it did not work out. Since then, I have been renting it out to another therapist. And this is where things are today.
This office saw the growth of Reiki training classes, the creation of massage classes for professionals as well as for the everyday person on the street. It also saw my growth as a massage therapist and energy worker. A lot of good energy was put into that place making it feel just right. But as of last week, that has all changed. All of the trappings of what made it Caring Palms have been taken away and the protective shields removed. The feeling was bitter-sweet. It is sad to be leaving what one has been comfortable with, yet the joy ahead could be so much greater.
To grow, one has to leave what is secure and comfortable. We have to push against the bonds that hold us there even if they are something we created ourselves. We need to struggle, to climb to the next level. I have often said that when I stop learning, then it is time to leave, as we should constantly be learning. The same could be said with growth. If we stop growing, then why are we here?
I could almost say that if we are truly safe, secure, and comfortable, then we are not living up to our potential.