I've talked about moving forward before, but the subject keeps coming up. I think maybe because so many people need to see it.
What is moving forward? Well, it is just that. It is looking to the future and 'moving' to it even if that future is only one day ahead, or one hour, or one step.
Now, I am not talking about setting goals, though this would be helpful. I am talking about taking the steps necessary to grow.
One of those steps is letting go, in fact it is a big step. We all cling to the past. We listen to the 'oldies' stations because they have the music we liked when we were younger. We remember the 'good old days' and all the good times we had. But we also remember the bad times, the pain, situations where we feel we should have acted better, or differently. The "I should have stood up to that jerk", or "I should have thought more before doing what I did" keeps coming up.
What we have to do is let go, realize that the past is the past and it can not be changed. What we can change is the future. That is what we have control of. We can use it to grow, and become something we want to be. Or we can use it to remember what we should have done and dwell on the problems we had in the past. Now don't get me wrong. The past is important as it is the learning we have done, the education we received, the path we took. But past that learning, it is something we need to let go of, and focus on the future. Take that knowledge and use it to guide you, but don't live in it to the point that you keep looking back when you need to look ahead.
The other thing is to cut ties. We all have people in our lives. Some help us, and some hold us back.
We all have friends that tell us to follow our dreams, even when some of those dreams sound unrealistic. They support us. They help us when they can. They are there when things don't work out as we'd hoped. But they are positive people that make us think through what we are looking to do, and support us while doing it. These are the people that help build us up.
Then there are the friends that can not even think of us changing. They want us the way we are. The problem with this is that to stay as we are, we stagnate. As human beings, we need to grow, no matter where that growth takes us even if it takes us away from friends, or family. But these friends won't let us. We get the "Why would you want to get a job? Aren't you happy being a housewife?", or "You're making good money programming computers. Why would you want to leave that and be a massage therapist? They don't get paid as much." speeches. Unfortunately, these are the people who tear you down, who keep you stagnant, who keep you from growing. And it might even be reasonable to assume that they do this because they are afraid of change. But change is a constant, and if we don't change, we get left behind. These are the people we need to let go of because they don't support us.
Now, that sounds cruel, but it is the best thing. Over the years we lose friends. We go off in different directions, grow into different things. Sometimes it is the friend leaving, sometimes it is us. But this is a part of life. And this could mean leaving specific friends (or fading them out) or leaving various groups you might belong to if you feel they are holding you back. If you feel the need to grow, you have to leave certain comfort areas, and that could very well mean people or groups to heal.
But even with letting go, we have to start looking forward, and then heading in that direction, whether it is making plans for long term future, or recovering from illnesses or injuries. Sometimes we can look at the future and see what we will be and make big leaps. Other times we are looking at being recovered from something and then we can only look at things one step at a time.
We put one foot in front of the other, step by step. That is how we get to where we need to be. It takes time, it takes patience, and it takes being positive. But we know as we do it that we are indeed moving forward. That is where we keep our focus. And through this, we grow.