As I write what happened last night, I find it terribly difficult to stay composed.
I was there for a friend when she had to put down her dog that she had known for 13 years. This is something I have had to do on a number of occasions. I know how hard it is, especially when these furry family members have been with you for such a long time. I remember Ursa who I was with when she passed at age 9. Or Winston at age 13. Or Murphy at age 7. Or Mandy at age 21. Or Bebe at age 10. It never gets easier no matter how spiritually you are connected. There is always pain.
Last night, I did what I needed to do as a Reiki master, practitioner, and healer. I gave Deuce what energy I could to make sure he had enough to transition to the other side.
Through the whole night, I kept having problems blocking out the emotional chaos around me. As an empath, it is very hard to block out so much grief. As a pet owner that has had to do the same thing a number of times, I kept remembering all the times before that I have had to do this, and all the loss of each one filled me.
As a teacher, I know that Reiki energy can be what one needs to pass over, and I tell my students that it almost becomes an imperative that if they can help do this, they have to. Here I was following my own teachings. I remember back to 1998, when I last visited my mother in the nursing home. I knew it would only be a number of days. As I sat with her, I would hold her hand, or point mine toward her so I could fill her with as much energy as possible. I have had to do this with a number of pets as well, even one that I had to do through an astral projection.
But it is hard. To be slammed with raw grief, it is almost impossible to not be affected. Even now, it is like a raw wound. I know it will go away, and I'm hoping that writing this will help get it out. I feel for anyone that loses a child two-legged or four-legged.
I hope I don't have to go through something like this anytime soon. I do know I will go through either helping someone else, or with my own.
And I am always available to go out and help someone if I can. That is just who I am.
Right now, I think I will go home and hug my dogs and cat.