A Spacer Named Fred
It was during the first iteration of FreeFall, and we were looking for ideas to write songs from.  We thought that the 'Beverly Hillbillies' might be something to use for a laugh, and asked Jan if he could play it.  He immediately sat down and launched into it.  So, it was a matter of coming up with some words.  The performance had people rolling in the aisle.

The one joke that was missed was the line about calling Mayflower.  Initially, I had written 'call the movers'. Thinking about it a little more, the one thing we had been seeing on TV continuously several months before were Mayflower moving vans taking the Baltimore Colts football team out in the middle of the night.  Even though our convention was in Baltimore, these people were not all from Baltimore, and they definitely weren't sports fans.  Part of doing filk, is learning that some of your best jokes, may not really be.

 

To the tune of

Theme from The Beverly Hillbillies

 

Performed by

FreeFall, Iteration 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Spacer Named Fred

By Brian Dean

Come and listen to a story 'bout a spacer named Fred,

Born out near the galaxy's edge.

Come one day he was lookin' at the stars,

guess what he sees comin' from afar...

A Starship...Galaxy Class...Big Sucker

The next thing you know Fred's a Starfleet engineer.

The captain said "Fred, you're gonna move away from here!"

He said "The Neutral Zone is the place we gotta be..."

So he packed up his kit and they warped to Outpost Three...

Romulans...Cloaking Devices...Danger, Danger Will Robinson

They weren't there long when the Romulans appeared.

Fred ran to his post to see just what he feared,

the Enterprise outnumbered one against three,

would soon learn about Romulan hospitality.

Phasers...Photon Torpedoes...Sneak Attacks

Picard yelled "Red Alert. Open hailing frequencies."

That call met with torpedoes don't you see

that the Romulans had planned for the space right there,

to be part of the empire by the end of the year

Anarchy...Foreign Control...Call Mayflower!

The Romulans hit the Enterprise in one quick attack.

Fred said "The shields are down. We'll need time to get them back!"

Picard yelled "Warp 9, let's get some running room,

then we'll come back and make them change their tune."

Sweet Adaline...When Johnny Comes Marching Home...Doo Wah Diddie Diddie Dum Diddie Doo

The Enterprise came back into the middle of the fight,

and as the Romulans fired, they moved up and to the right.

The Romulans were so surprised as they thought the Enterprise dead,

They did not notice till too late, they'd shot each other instead.

Bullseye...Right On Target...Two Points

The Romulans were damaged and turned to go back home.

Picard couldn't pass up not leaving them alone.

He opened up the com and said with great glee,

"Come back soon for more Federation hospitality."

Let Your Shields Down...Set A Spell...Ya'all Come Back Now, Y'hear?