2004

As this was out 10th year, we felt we needed to have a decade ending wrap up.  I actually started writing this shortly after last Christmas, but didn't get more than a few verses before hanging it up until November.  Then I went back and rewrote the verses that were already there. 

The title came from an old TV show called "That Was The Week That Was" which was also known as "TW3" for obvious reasons.  On the program, they spoofed news stories of the previous week.  I felt it appropriate to parody it here.

I was trying to write with my brain working slow.

I wanted to finish some time that day,

So I started in a galaxy far, far away.

I told a short story of a Jedi named Luke,

That this subject came up was, of course, no fluke.

I had been watching the movie, and checking the source,

And I got it all done without too much force.

Then came a tale of a visit by Feds,

Who came in stretch limos, not on Santa’s sled.

They went through the taxes like a blizzard of snow,

And when they were finished, it was time to go.

The Speaker of the House became our next choice,

My relatives didn’t like the opinion we voiced.

But we had some laughs and a good deal of fun,

Tho’ if we visit up north we’ll have to duck and run.

Having moved from Maryland to somewhere down South,

Could I tell of Santa’s visit without my foot in my mouth.

He did look quite different as I remember him so,

Maybe it was the bermudas

and flip-flops as he went to and fro.

For the next victim, we pushed and tackled the fates,

And told of Sir Bill, yes, the great one named Gates.

He helped Microsoft stake its claim on the Net,

And then flew away, like a Mach 3 stealth jet.

Then on to the Jupiter II we did race,

To find it out there, somewhere lost in space.

We told of a visit given to the crew,

By vac-suited reindeer and Space Nicholas too.

Next Santa was disarrayed, and confused, in a big hurry

He’d been subpoenaed by Starr before the Grand Jury. 

Although he was no witness, and his elves were quite swift,

There was no time to make stuff,

and gave out previous years’ gifts.

The following year was 2000, yes, Y2K,

And we wondered if the worries would just go away.

We were concerned that the predictions

would leave us in the poke,

Or was some part of a strange cosmic joke.

Now then to the real millennium dawn.

We listed predictions, from the 60s and on.

We wondered of the marvels and wonders to come,

And tied it together to have a little fun.

And then it happened, true writer’s block.

I had to sit back and really take stock.

I wondered what to write ‘fore I ran out of time.

What could I do to make a nice rhyme?

The same year we told a tale of travel through time,

From the past to the future, from your place to mine.

We saw how the holiday in each time was spent,

And when we came to the joke, you expected what we’d sent.

Yet that same year we thought of internet shopping,

And how it might save us from shopping and dropping.

Just when we thought the idea might bomb,

We were saved yet again by S-Claus.com.

The next year found me with trouble sleeping,

A habit I’d really rather not be keeping.

Each sound had awakened me, and made the dogs woof,

Including the last one, that clatter on the roof.

And finally the year was 2003,

And our house was noticeably decoration–free.

The ornaments put themselves up with such delicate care.

When done it looked great, such precision, such flair.

Well ten years it’s been, and fourteen tales have gone by,

Occasionally I’d sit back and just wonder why.

Putting it together has been quite a trick.

When mostly my brain has felt like a brick.

But over the years, it has been bunches of fun

To see what we’d come up with and then get it done.

To get an idea and then make it stick,

And finish it out, oh so fast, oh so quick.

To create them and print them and get them in the mail.

A task to be done with no room to fail.

To get them all out before Christmas Eve,

Was often too hard for us to believe.

We could do regular cards, but that’s such a bore.

I guess we like having a holiday chore.

No time for baking, or shopping, or stuff,

We just keep writing these lines, that’s enough!

This year ends a decade of what started as fun,

We’ve run out of ideas, we may just be done.

What would it be for?  What else could we do?

Ahh, what the heck, next year starts Decade Two. 

Copyright Ó 2004 by

Brian and Shirley Dean