2001Shirley had an idea that dealt with internet shopping. By the time she told me, I had already flushed out two ideas. She gave me a couple verses, and I ran with it. After some changes, this is the result...
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T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring except for the mouse. The shopping was done several weeks before this, Shopping online, so simple, what bliss. I had dialed up the web, and started IE. Then went out to find the wonders to see. I started at Sears, “America’s store”, But that was boring, and I wanted more. I surfed on to E-Bay, and entered some bids, A trinket for Mom, video games for the kids. Next were some sites where I did lots of shopping, I startled myself because I wasn’t stopping. I found so many gifts, in all kinds of sizes, I think there will be a whole ton of surprises. Some music for Grandma, books for cousin Tom, They all were right there at Amazon.com. A nice pipe for Dad, some slippers for Sue, And even her color, blueberry blue. All were ordered and purchased and insured against chipping, And the best part of all, they did the shipping. No paper, no boxes, no packing, no tape, They’d send all of my orders no matter what shape. Now all I had to do was sit back and relax, I’d saved myself work and maybe some tax. Two weeks had passed, and it was so easy, Picking out gifts, (but not anything sleazy). They would all arrive by the Great U.S. Postal, To the north, west, or south, or even east coastal. But something had happened, things were too quiet, (Maybe I just should have started that diet). I’d gotten no calls, not a peep, nor a sound, Don’t tell me they were sent via UPS Ground! No gifts had come, no boxes delivered, I woke with a start and started to shiver. What would I do? What would I say? Christmas was less than one day away! I went to the computer, the source of my pain, And stood there, a fool, calling it names. You junk heap, you trash, you waste of good space. I just wish you’d vanish, away with no trace. I hit it. I kicked it, then hit it some more. I knocked it around then it fell to the floor. How could you do this, after all my hard work? All that deciding, I could just go berserk. What was wrong with my plan, and why did it fail? Suddenly I heard a chime, and a voice said “You’ve got mail.” I sat there dumbstruck, all dazed and confused. If I looked at myself I’d probably just be amused. I slowly reached over, and clicked with the mouse, Hoping this wasn’t the step that would bring down the house. And what to my wondering eyes did appear, A picture of a man, in a sleigh, pulled by eight tiny reindeer. “Heard you had problems, thought I’d lend a hand, Besides I do stock the most popular brands. Not to worry that your plans did not work with aplomb. All packages have been delivered by www.S-Claus.com.” The holiday had been saved. I don’t know why I doubted. This help I received, I could not do without it. And the last line of the message was not worth refuting, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all good computing.” |
Copyright
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2001 by Brian and Shirley Dean
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