2016

I started wondering what to write on... again. I thought about making it on that, which I had done one similar before. But then I started going through ideas and wondering what was a good one. Well most of them weren't, so I decided to throw ideas out to see if any made anyone laugh.

I thought the other day, and idea would come,
Which might entertain and not be too dumb.
But then things did happen, the world it got crazy,
And mostly because I’m just too darned lazy.

And then there was a seed that I thought I could grow,
So I took it and planted it, like oats I did sow.
But I forgot the water, and so it did die,
That is what happens when ideas get too dry.

A thought, it did come, and I knew it was gold,
By the time I got to paper, the trail had gone cold.
Some thoughts did come, too silly I think,
But I’ll run them by you to see if you blink.

What about a tale of a bipolar elf,
Who wanted to stand rather than sit on the shelf.
Or a reindeer that was grounded for hitting the booze,
Who got to take a long winter’s snooze.

How ‘bout the one of the barking, biting dog,
Who backed Santa to the fireplace to trip on a log?
Or the one with the crazy, mischievous cat,
Who chased Santa’s tassel and then ripped his hat?

Or the cookies Santa ate that were not up to snuff,
which caused him to fumble the gifts and such stuff?
Or the trip to a house outside of Hoboken,
Where the sleigh hit some wires and ended up broken?

Then there’s the one where the elves staged a coup,
And painted all the toys in red, green, and chartreuse?
And the one where Mrs. Claus burnt Santa’s evening dinner,
By the time he was done, he was pale and quite thinner.

Or the one where Santa wanted a mid-trip snack,
And stopped several times to put burgers in his sack?
Then the time where he landed on a badly built roof,
The crashing sound was louder than the tapping of hooves.

There’s the time when he broke down and called Triple A,
That really had to have made that tow driver’s day.
And the time when he was buzzed by a low flying jet,
The pilot was just trying to win a large bet.

Or the time when he encountered a U.F.O.,
It tried to tractor beam his sleigh and take him in tow.
And delivering an aquarium of fish, all of them colored red,
The water spilled, fish escaped, it’s now a terrarium instead.

And the time the reindeer got tangled up in lights,
Folks thought this was the Goodyear blimp flying that night.
And there was the time Santa used GPS to get ahead.
He was headed to Burbank, but landed in Detroit instead.

There are many stories to tickle one’s fancy,
But most of these ideas just leaves us all antsy.
Yes, great hopes and great stories to which I could aspire,
But most end up in the hearth as kindling for a fire.

There has to be a plan, some thought to invoke,
But most of them hide under the invisibility cloak.
A process needs to follow, a path to be made,
But too many times it just doesn’t make the grade.

So if we’ve made you laugh, or even just chuckle,
It is better than making you bite on your knuckles.
And doing this task has given us joy and fun,
So may the farce be with us everyone.

Copyright Ó 2016 by

Brian and Shirley Dean