1998We were running on empty again, and ended up poking a little at politics. We decided that Santa had a bad year, and all he had to give out were leftover gifts from previous years. The reason for this is because Santa and all his elves got called to the grand jury by Ken Starr who was trying to find reason to get the president out of office. This definitely shows what can happen when we don't let the elves do their work.
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T’was the night before Christmas, in our habitat, Not a creature was stirring, not even the cat. The stockings were hung by the fireplace with cheer, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be here. One dog was nestled asleep in our bed, The other in the foyer, paw over her head. And me next to Shirley, who was snoring a groove, I tried to stretch, but the dog wouldn’t move. When out in the street, there arose such a noise, The breaking of glass, and maybe some toys. I ran to the window, just like a flash, Tripped on the dog, and fell with a crash. The moon it was full, and shone oh so bright, Oh great, all the loonies must be out tonight. I crawled to the window so I could look out, And my bloodshot eyes caused me some doubt. In the middle of the street was a man with a sleigh, I closed my eyes, shook my head, it didn’t go away. In front of the sleigh were animals (of some kind), Eight dirty reindeer? their harness in a bind. The driver, he shouted, and called to his team, "It’s taking forever, or so it would seem." He handled the sleigh, and he did seem quite deft, "We do have to hurry, there’s not much time left!" They ran down the street, and jumped in the air, Despite all my fears, I could only stare. What if they landed too hard on the roof, Resulting in holes made by each little hoof. But then down they came, and crashed in the yard, Now I was really alert and on guard. The driver leaped from the sleigh and fell in the pool, I had to jump in and rescue the fool. I brought him inside and he sat by the fire, I couldn’t believe that he looked so tired. He smiled at me, but he seemed kind of sad, And started to tell me of the year he’d had. "The year has been rough, at least so far, Got summoned to D.C., subpoenaed by Starr. The elves and the reindeer were called by the jury, That left little time, so we had to hurry." "The Pole was a mess", he said with a sob, "Why couldn’t Ken leave me to do my job. There was no time to make things," he said through the tears, "We used stuff from the warehouse, left from previous years." He went to the tree, and started to work, Pulling gifts from his pack, each with a jerk. The water from the pool had made the gifts wet, The wrappings fell off, where each one was set. I saw what he meant, the gifts were quite old, The first clue, an 8-track, K-Tel "Solid Gold". I looked through the gifts, and saw one for me, Another darned copy of the Star Wars trilogy. He emptied his sack, ‘til there was no more, Then he got up, headed for the door. He bumped into things and made quite a ruckus, I thought "This can’t be St. Nick, it must be Dick Butkus." He sidestepped the pool, and went to his sleigh. Then called to his team, "Up, up, and away." But I heard him exclaim as he flew off from view, "Merry Christmas to all, and may the farce be with you." |
Copyright
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1998 by Brian and Shirley Dean
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