2005

When writing the original poem for this year (which never got used as it was never good enough as well as being off target), I used a line that brought me to here.  We then came up with many catch-phrases or clichés.  It was fun putting them all together.  Some are obvious, and some need to be looked at differently as I took them apart and changed them around.  Some of the references may be a little obscure, and yes, the age of the reader will play into this.  Usually I have a struggle fitting these onto the holiday paper we buy (depending on the design).  This one had to run over onto the back.

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T’was the night before Christmas in old Clichéville,
Most folks weren’t stirring, not on this side of the hill.
The stockings were hung (of course) by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas might really appear.

The children were nestled, asleep in their beds,
While visions of XBOX-360s danced in their heads.
About tomorrow I wondered as I started to doze,
What would it bring?  Well, the Shadow knows.

When outside the house there arose such a clatter,
I just told myself it really didn’t matter.
I was having a dream that was oh so groovy,
And had told myself it was only a movie.

But the noise came again and caused me to fear.
“Danger.  Danger Will Robinson” was what I did hear.
I got out of the bed and tripped on the pup,
Oh no!  I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.

But I got to the front window and let out a moan,
And something said “You have just entered the Twilight Zone.”
Out in the street was a man and a sleigh.
I blinked my eyes but it didn’t go away.

The sleigh was attached to a group of some beast.
They could have been reindeer, seven or eight at least.
With a little old driver, red-suited and quick,
I started to wonder if it might be some trick.

He let out a shout “Up, Up, and Away”
The deer then took flight, pulling the sleigh.
Look, up in the sky.  It’s a bird!  It’s a plane!
But no, it was some old guy handling the reins.

Then from the roof, there came this loud thump,
And I wondered about things in the night that go bump.
I was starting to wonder.  This caused me to frown.
Then I heard from above a voice say, “Come on down.”

I was thinking this was something I would never speak of,
Then in a twinkling of light, he beamed in from above.
I started to back away, all I could feel was fear,
‘Be afraid.  Be very afraid.’ was all I could hear.

Call someone.  Get help.  That thought was so clear.
I was already home, so I couldn’t phone here.
My stomach was queasy, and had started to roll.
The vertical and horizontal were not under control.

My stomach how it bounced, my head how it swam,
Could I start this night over?  I thought, “Play it again, Sam.”
If the police could get here, they’d save the day.
“Book’em Danno” is what they would say

But the man looked right at me and I froze where I stood.
He reached up to his coat and threw off his hood. 
His face was quite kindly.  His eyes how they shined.
I thought for a moment I was losing my mind.

I started to speak but then I took pause,
He looked straight at me and said “Claus.  Santa Claus.”
He smiled at me gently and picked up his pack,
A wink of one eye told me, he’s ba-a-ack.

He asked how I was.  I couldn’t speak, couldn’t blink.
“Is that your final answer?” he asked with a wink.
He looked me over quickly, once, then twice.
As if trying to determine if I’d been naughty or nice.

I was still frozen.  I just couldn’t budge.
It felt like in court when “Here come da judge.”
He turned his back and went to his work,
And put out the packages, each with a quick jerk.

When his work was done, the milk and cookies he ate,
He looked quite pleased and said they were great.
Then he raised his milk glass as if making a toast.
“Here’s looking at you kid”, he acknowledged his host.

He looked once at his work, and then spoke of the weather.
“I really do love it when a plan comes together.”
He smiled at me once, and said “To boldly go”,
Then gracefully, up the chimney he rose.

I looked at all the gifts, odd things, even a fife.
Somewhere I heard Groucho Marx say “You bet your life.”
You must think I’m crazy.  Of that I do know.
Just like I’m making this up as I go.

Oh, these things did happen, of that I am sure.
I’m not here to deceive, my intentions are pure.
Of this visit, sadly, no proof exists.
Except for what my shrink collects with bliss.

But then it was gone, this weight on the roof,
Especially the clomping of each heavy hoof.
I heard him exclaim that this wasn’t a hoax,
And then, “Merry Christmas to all,
and Ba-dee-ah, Ba-dee-ah, That’s all folks!

Good night Mrs. Calabash,

wherever you are.

Copyright Ó 2005 by

Brian and Shirley Dean